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Natural or hero, Derek caused me and others a lot of pain. His skills and our hero worship caused us to begin the ‘beating yourself up’ process. You know the; ‘I’m not good enough’. ‘If only I could do that’.’ I couldn’t possibly do that’. The self defeating traits of inadequacy, insecurity and worthlessness and constant comparison with others all started here. With Derek, we started the comparison programme. Comparison is just another name for subservience. When you compare yourself to someone you are really accepting that you are impressed by them, you want them to influence your life and are willingly bowing down to their perceived skills and abilities. The problem with subservience is that you can never be free. It takes away all your happiness and power. You end up confused and wilting like a flower. The fact is comparing yourself with others not only stops you from being successful, it’s destructive. As, Elizabeth Fisher an American author, stated; ‘comparison is a death knell to sibling harmony’. Suggesting that the minute you compare yourself with anybody the relationship is always going to be powerless. Because you are now in a subservient relationship. The truth is that only prices, products and stores can be compared. Not people. You can compare key data any product, price or service. So when you compare yourself with others are you a product, price or service? Remember those essays from school and university where you were always asked to compare and contrast something with the aim of showing the similarities and differences of an argument etc. But how do you do this with people? What is being compared or contrasted? How are people similar? Height, weight, age, the clothes they wear, walk, where they live, the cars they drive, their salary, their achievements, their views ? Do you compare yourself with others? Who do you compare yourself with? What are the attributes you compare? Are you comparing like with like? You can compare males and females and they way they perform tasks, parents against children, different age groups. You can compare how your opinions are similar or different. But the best you can get is that you are mostly similar or mostly different. What about jealousy? How do you measure that? You can compare products with different versions. But people? How do you compare yourself with your parents or grandparents? You could be like Shakespeare and compare yourself against nature i.e. beauty with day and night. But not compare one person against another. Comparing yourself with others is like putting yourself in a prison. A prison which can only bring pain. A prison that stops you from experiencing your true talents. No one puts you in this prison, you do it all by yourself. You simply learn, as I did, not to accept yourself and reject who you really are in favour for what you perceive another person has. In other words you give yourself a hard time and delay your own growth because you thought the other person was better than you. Trust yourself, you have all the skills you need to succeed. All you need is a change of process. Stop judging yourself. Instead of comparing yourself with others, subverting your own power and constantly under performing; focus on your potential. What you want to be. Meditate on where you want to be. Imagine yourself achieving your potential. What does it look like, what does it feel like. Surround yourself with images and artefacts depicting the future you and gradually, you will become what you always wanted to be. The more you believe in your capabilities the more your behaviour will change. Access the hidden skills you have. Trust in yourself. You have far more skills and abilities than you are using at present. If you have heroes then beware you could be taking away your skills, your individualism and making yourself subservient for the rest of your life. In which case who needs heroes? Graham and Julie www.desktop-meditation.com.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. Make your dreams reachable All too often, we may be envisioning a level of success, which is far beyond what we can realistically accept and thus fall short of full manifestation. However, if we can envision a period of time in which our success can gradually increase, quite often our subconscious can more easily accept it. However, allowing ourselves to get comfortably accustomed to a steadily increasing flow of abundance in our lives tends to stabilize it for us. We've all heard stories about people who won the lottery … 2. How to Motivate Yourself Whatever that is you are working towards, make it visual. It maybe something material like a car, or a vacation you have been looking forward to for the longest time. Take or cut out a picture of it and post it at a conspicuous place at work or at home where you can see it often. So that when you feel discouraged, this will remind you of your goal and will help you keep your focus. Make a contract with oneself. According to motivational researches, people who write down to-do-lists are far more … 3. Allow Yourself To Be Happy People often ask me explain my statements, and the title of this article usually has people forcefully telling me that it’s ‘the others’ that won’t stop them from being happy.Er, wrong.In fact, it *is* usually ourselves that stop us from being happy. Society and education gears us to expect life to be a slog, many decades of working in a job we don’t like, with the reward of, oh, let’s say a whitepicket fence to go with your borderline pension.This kind of mental conditioning leaves us more ofte… 4. Life Can Seem Unfair......Until We Change Our Perspective! See How! Empty, Hollow, Nothing….those words shout the sound of disappointment and disillusionment of life for many people; the experience of many people as they grab for possessions, power, knowledge, and the sweet things of life. But, what do they find? Yeah, you guessed it, emptiness, disappointment, and the awareness that Life sucks and then you die.Well, As Luck Would Have It!Have you ever heard the saying, 'it's all in your perspective'? Perspective! Interesting word. It means relative importance o… |