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Natural or hero, Derek caused me and others a lot of pain. His skills and our hero worship caused us to begin the ‘beating yourself up’ process. You know the; ‘I’m not good enough’. ‘If only I could do that’.’ I couldn’t possibly do that’. The self defeating traits of inadequacy, insecurity and worthlessness and constant comparison with others all started here. With Derek, we started the comparison programme. Comparison is just another name for subservience. When you compare yourself to someone you are really accepting that you are impressed by them, you want them to influence your life and are willingly bowing down to their perceived skills and abilities. The problem with subservience is that you can never be free. It takes away all your happiness and power. You end up confused and wilting like a flower. The fact is comparing yourself with others not only stops you from being successful, it’s destructive. As, Elizabeth Fisher an American author, stated; ‘comparison is a death knell to sibling harmony’. Suggesting that the minute you compare yourself with anybody the relationship is always going to be powerless. Because you are now in a subservient relationship. The truth is that only prices, products and stores can be compared. Not people. You can compare key data any product, price or service. So when you compare yourself with others are you a product, price or service? Remember those essays from school and university where you were always asked to compare and contrast something with the aim of showing the similarities and differences of an argument etc. But how do you do this with people? What is being compared or contrasted? How are people similar? Height, weight, age, the clothes they wear, walk, where they live, the cars they drive, their salary, their achievements, their views ? Do you compare yourself with others? Who do you compare yourself with? What are the attributes you compare? Are you comparing like with like? You can compare males and females and they way they perform tasks, parents against children, different age groups. You can compare how your opinions are similar or different. But the best you can get is that you are mostly similar or mostly different. What about jealousy? How do you measure that? You can compare products with different versions. But people? How do you compare yourself with your parents or grandparents? You could be like Shakespeare and compare yourself against nature i.e. beauty with day and night. But not compare one person against another. Comparing yourself with others is like putting yourself in a prison. A prison which can only bring pain. A prison that stops you from experiencing your true talents. No one puts you in this prison, you do it all by yourself. You simply learn, as I did, not to accept yourself and reject who you really are in favour for what you perceive another person has. In other words you give yourself a hard time and delay your own growth because you thought the other person was better than you. Trust yourself, you have all the skills you need to succeed. All you need is a change of process. Stop judging yourself. Instead of comparing yourself with others, subverting your own power and constantly under performing; focus on your potential. What you want to be. Meditate on where you want to be. Imagine yourself achieving your potential. What does it look like, what does it feel like. Surround yourself with images and artefacts depicting the future you and gradually, you will become what you always wanted to be. The more you believe in your capabilities the more your behaviour will change. Access the hidden skills you have. Trust in yourself. You have far more skills and abilities than you are using at present. If you have heroes then beware you could be taking away your skills, your individualism and making yourself subservient for the rest of your life. In which case who needs heroes? Graham and Julie www.desktop-meditation.com.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. Nurturing Your Soul Copyright 2005 Writer's Eye Advisory ServiceNumber Yourself: Count yourself as an important individual. You are important. You need to be counted and acknowledged especially when you are helping others. One way that you can do this is by taking proper care of your self (having enough sleep, food, exercise and relaxation). Then you will have enough energy to help others and live the rest of your busy life. Sounds too basic? It's supposed to be. It's the basics that hold daily life together.Unders… 2. Setting Your Behavior for the Day PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required. Mail to: eagibbs@ureach.comAccording to Dr. Fredrick Koenig of Tulane University, 'The first hour of the day sets your behavior for the rest of the day.' Both he and Dr. Robert Calmes of the University of Arizona id… 3. Kokoro no Kaze: Does Your Soul Have a Cold? Feeling sad? Have you lost interest in things you used to enjoy? Perhaps you're suffering from a cold of the soul.That's the concept that has taken Japan by storm in the last five years, thanks to a culturally savvy marketing campaign launched by pharmaceutical companies to turn mild depression into an acceptable malady that a simple prescription can cure. Anyone familiar with Japan will recognize that 'kokoro no kaze' (literally 'cold of the soul') is a phrase guaranteed to resonate with the ci… 4. Live as Royce, the Kid Many years ago lived a farmer who, in addition to raising crops,had a herd of goats who provided his family and community with milk and cheese.One day, a curious-and-often-getting-himself-in-trouble little kid (the term for young goat) named Royce strayed from the herd and found that he had tumbled into a deserted well. Straight down he fell with no apparent way out of the hole. Royce cried and cried, attracting the attention of the farmer.After numerous attempts to save Royce, the farmer could … |