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Natural or hero, Derek caused me and others a lot of pain. His skills and our hero worship caused us to begin the ‘beating yourself up’ process. You know the; ‘I’m not good enough’. ‘If only I could do that’.’ I couldn’t possibly do that’. The self defeating traits of inadequacy, insecurity and worthlessness and constant comparison with others all started here. With Derek, we started the comparison programme. Comparison is just another name for subservience. When you compare yourself to someone you are really accepting that you are impressed by them, you want them to influence your life and are willingly bowing down to their perceived skills and abilities. The problem with subservience is that you can never be free. It takes away all your happiness and power. You end up confused and wilting like a flower. The fact is comparing yourself with others not only stops you from being successful, it’s destructive. As, Elizabeth Fisher an American author, stated; ‘comparison is a death knell to sibling harmony’. Suggesting that the minute you compare yourself with anybody the relationship is always going to be powerless. Because you are now in a subservient relationship. The truth is that only prices, products and stores can be compared. Not people. You can compare key data any product, price or service. So when you compare yourself with others are you a product, price or service? Remember those essays from school and university where you were always asked to compare and contrast something with the aim of showing the similarities and differences of an argument etc. But how do you do this with people? What is being compared or contrasted? How are people similar? Height, weight, age, the clothes they wear, walk, where they live, the cars they drive, their salary, their achievements, their views ? Do you compare yourself with others? Who do you compare yourself with? What are the attributes you compare? Are you comparing like with like? You can compare males and females and they way they perform tasks, parents against children, different age groups. You can compare how your opinions are similar or different. But the best you can get is that you are mostly similar or mostly different. What about jealousy? How do you measure that? You can compare products with different versions. But people? How do you compare yourself with your parents or grandparents? You could be like Shakespeare and compare yourself against nature i.e. beauty with day and night. But not compare one person against another. Comparing yourself with others is like putting yourself in a prison. A prison which can only bring pain. A prison that stops you from experiencing your true talents. No one puts you in this prison, you do it all by yourself. You simply learn, as I did, not to accept yourself and reject who you really are in favour for what you perceive another person has. In other words you give yourself a hard time and delay your own growth because you thought the other person was better than you. Trust yourself, you have all the skills you need to succeed. All you need is a change of process. Stop judging yourself. Instead of comparing yourself with others, subverting your own power and constantly under performing; focus on your potential. What you want to be. Meditate on where you want to be. Imagine yourself achieving your potential. What does it look like, what does it feel like. Surround yourself with images and artefacts depicting the future you and gradually, you will become what you always wanted to be. The more you believe in your capabilities the more your behaviour will change. Access the hidden skills you have. Trust in yourself. You have far more skills and abilities than you are using at present. If you have heroes then beware you could be taking away your skills, your individualism and making yourself subservient for the rest of your life. In which case who needs heroes? Graham and Julie www.desktop-meditation.com.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. 7 Secrets To High Performance Thinking - Part 6 The Taoist's have a saying, 'The Journey is the reward.'High performance thinkers exemplify that remark.They pick their profession, not because of the moneythey expect to make, but because of the joy it bringsthem.In the words of J. Paul Getty, they've learned to thrive on the pressure. They don't see what they do as do or die. They've learned to laugh at themselves and try not totake things too seriously.What others may consider a problem, they consider achallenge. Their sense of humor and abil… 2. Taking the Bull by the Horns How successful people beat fear.The first thing to realize is that Fear is all in the mind. We are a product of our perception of reality. Why is it that some people faint at the sight of a cockroach and others consider it a delicacy and eat it?How is it that we see people being cured of their phobias in a matter of hours? I mean it took an entire lifetime to build that fear and people can be rid of it in an hour or two?Consider the circumstances of fear. Why is it that a person will do somethin… 3. Our Gift If you knew you were going to stand before God, today (not in judgment, but meeting your very best friend) ... is there a gift you would like to present Him with? Do you plan to meet Him empty handed? Maybe you have a gift for God already. Perhaps, you never thought about it and would like to. What would be the truest statement of your love? What type of service are you passionate about? Find the answer. Then, head in that direction. And if you still do not know, walk in the direction your he… 4. Creative Thoughts All thoughts are energy that attract like a magnet the content of the thoughts. If one believes in abundance and they think abundance then they always have abundance in their lives. If one thinks poverty then they also experience after their beliefs. Whole societies may hold the same thought then that society experiences the manifestation of that thought.Life is like a mirror it reflects back to us our thoughts. We are the creators of our world. We must take responsibility for our thoughts for n… |