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Natural or hero, Derek caused me and others a lot of pain. His skills and our hero worship caused us to begin the ‘beating yourself up’ process. You know the; ‘I’m not good enough’. ‘If only I could do that’.’ I couldn’t possibly do that’. The self defeating traits of inadequacy, insecurity and worthlessness and constant comparison with others all started here. With Derek, we started the comparison programme. Comparison is just another name for subservience. When you compare yourself to someone you are really accepting that you are impressed by them, you want them to influence your life and are willingly bowing down to their perceived skills and abilities. The problem with subservience is that you can never be free. It takes away all your happiness and power. You end up confused and wilting like a flower. The fact is comparing yourself with others not only stops you from being successful, it’s destructive. As, Elizabeth Fisher an American author, stated; ‘comparison is a death knell to sibling harmony’. Suggesting that the minute you compare yourself with anybody the relationship is always going to be powerless. Because you are now in a subservient relationship. The truth is that only prices, products and stores can be compared. Not people. You can compare key data any product, price or service. So when you compare yourself with others are you a product, price or service? Remember those essays from school and university where you were always asked to compare and contrast something with the aim of showing the similarities and differences of an argument etc. But how do you do this with people? What is being compared or contrasted? How are people similar? Height, weight, age, the clothes they wear, walk, where they live, the cars they drive, their salary, their achievements, their views ? Do you compare yourself with others? Who do you compare yourself with? What are the attributes you compare? Are you comparing like with like? You can compare males and females and they way they perform tasks, parents against children, different age groups. You can compare how your opinions are similar or different. But the best you can get is that you are mostly similar or mostly different. What about jealousy? How do you measure that? You can compare products with different versions. But people? How do you compare yourself with your parents or grandparents? You could be like Shakespeare and compare yourself against nature i.e. beauty with day and night. But not compare one person against another. Comparing yourself with others is like putting yourself in a prison. A prison which can only bring pain. A prison that stops you from experiencing your true talents. No one puts you in this prison, you do it all by yourself. You simply learn, as I did, not to accept yourself and reject who you really are in favour for what you perceive another person has. In other words you give yourself a hard time and delay your own growth because you thought the other person was better than you. Trust yourself, you have all the skills you need to succeed. All you need is a change of process. Stop judging yourself. Instead of comparing yourself with others, subverting your own power and constantly under performing; focus on your potential. What you want to be. Meditate on where you want to be. Imagine yourself achieving your potential. What does it look like, what does it feel like. Surround yourself with images and artefacts depicting the future you and gradually, you will become what you always wanted to be. The more you believe in your capabilities the more your behaviour will change. Access the hidden skills you have. Trust in yourself. You have far more skills and abilities than you are using at present. If you have heroes then beware you could be taking away your skills, your individualism and making yourself subservient for the rest of your life. In which case who needs heroes? Graham and Julie www.desktop-meditation.com.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. Whistle while you work Mark Twain (1835-1910) believed that having fun is important if you want to be successful. 'The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.'Mark Twain must have had fun as a writer. His sense of fun emerges in his stories. He clearly enjoyed his work as a writer. No wonder he lived to a good age for those days. He learned as a boy how to turn work into a vacation. I owe the following story about him to Alan Elliott and Josh Hinds. In the 1830's Mark Twain disobeyed his mother by ta… 2. Looking For Answers In All The Wrong Places? Looking around at our circumstances we may see only mountains of problems, debts piling up, fear, failure, and defeat at every corner. Maybe you've looked around and thought, where's the answer, I need a new life? Heart To Heart!No one may be able to give you an easy answer for difficult circumstances, but there are some simple steps you can take today to neutralize the negative emotions that are making you stew in your own juice.The most important thing to do is; stop looking at the wrong thing… 3. It Sure is Crazy Out There! It seems the world of Internet marketing is changingrapidly. There are so many new twists and turns every day.How do we keep up with everything?A Sense of Humor Helps!I know it's hard to laugh when you receive 200 or more spammessages in your email every day. But what's thealternative? Hit the delete key or find an anti-spamprogram that works.A friend passed on word of ChoiceMail to me and it's theeasiest thing to use that I've found. What's more ~ I don'thave any spam in my mailbox since I inst… 4. Starting-Over. I worked hard for the past 17 years. I felt I had to. I only finished high school. Without a certificate to flaunt and yet wanting to climb the corporate ladder, I dedicated my effort and time to my work. I was proud of myself. At 40 years old I had reached a manager's position. The day came when I was handed the letter. Why did the company fire me? Was I not good enough? It was a massive blow to my ego. My questions only brought back anger. I was not resourceful and I could not see any positive… |