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What Is The Emperor Wearing? Truth-Telling In Business Relationships Butterworth-Heinneman ISBN 0-7506-9872-1 217 pages This book is inspired by the popular tale “The Emperor’s New Clothes”. It provides stories of ordinary individuals in the workplace who are in the predicament of confronting the unlikely benefits of “deception” and steering away from the risks and dangers of “truth-telling”. Unfortunately, “truth-telling” is justifiably perceived to be difficult, risky, and unrewarding. More often than not, others will try to invalidate your truth with what they believe is true rather than discover the true nature of the problem. Take the case of Rita. She tried to tell the truth to her manager, Kerwin, but he refused to listen. Her predictions were correct, but it was only after the scandal broke out in the media that Kerwin realized it. Clearly, Rita’s truth was ignored. Robert, however, was reluctant to accept that his store manager was stealing supplies from his dry cleaning establishment. Robert lost money in a store that seemed to be doing very good business simply because he’d rather not know what the truth is. Truth-telling has become more risky and difficult to some of the characters in the book. Basically, they had hard times telling the truth when: •the truth is bad news •the truths collide—thatis, when your truth getsfabricated along the way •you’d be happier if you know what the truth is •you’re not sure if your truth is really true •your integrity is sacrificed •it makes better sense not to tell the truth The genuine stories of Rita, Robert and the other characters of the book proved the profitable side of truth-telling. In the long run, it has become obvious that truth-telling is always more beneficial than “deception”. To practice the skill the following is recommended: •Examine Assumptions. With the fear of jeopardizing her position by confronting the manager, Kathleen decided to carefully examine her opinion that her boss is behaving inappropriately at meetings they attended. Eventually, it dawned on her that her objectives are different from his. •Know Yourself First. Irwin, a telecommunications executive, was not aware of his alcohol problems. It took near disaster before he realized this. Looking back, Irwin identified that incident as a major turning point in his life and career. •Use Your Intuition to Guide You. Elizabeth rarely understood the reason for crying at meetings. When the team examined the situation more carefully, they discovered that Elizabeth’s intuition was warning them when something subtle was wrong with some proposed action. •The Truth Will Set You Free, but First It May Make You Mad. Pete’s team confronted him on his ineffective leadership style. It was difficult to hear the negative feedback, but as he listened and responded, the team members’ animosity changed to offers of help and support. •Get the Information You Need Without Being Gullible or Paranoid. •Ask Questions with Grace and Skill. •Tell Your Truth with Compassion for Yourself and Others. Valerie struggled with herself about how to inform her client that she suspected he was using drugs. As she prepared him for job interviews, she started to think that other interviewers might notice the subtle symptoms and mannerisms she had observed in him. She carefully examined her own internal conversation and her fear of alienating her client. Her commitment to her own integrity helped her find an appropriate way to take the necessary risk while continuing to support her client. •The “What I Feel Like Saying” Process. Staff meetings were becoming a waste of time in Monica’s mortgage banking office. Staff members would come late, leave early, and barely pretend to participate. Introducing a simple exercise at the start of each weekly meeting allowed everyone to gradually learn to work together more effectively. •Is Something Sinister Going On? Everyone at the meeting was frustrated. People were repeating their points several times, but they were not reaching any resolution. A simple matter that should have taken five minutes had been debated for an hour. After a brief recess, Barry raised a new issue that concerned everyone. When the discussion of the new topic was completed, they went back to considering the original issue, and they reached agreement on a solution almost immediately. •Using Agreements to Create Dialogue Instead of Conflict. It is important for any truth teller to realize that your truth is not THE TRUTH, and neither is anyone else’s. Exploring different perspectives on the truth instead of arguing about which is correct can best be accomplished in a safe environment. A variety of organizations use an ever-evolving set of agreements to create and maintain a context in which truth-telling can occur.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. Making Commitments of Love and Courage By Steve Brunkhorsthttp://AchieveEzine.comThere is a story about a little girl who suffered from a serious disease. Her best chance of recovery would be to receive a blood transfusion from her five-year old brother.The doctor explained the situation to the little brother. He asked the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.The young boy hesitated for a brief moment. Then he took a deep breath and said, 'Yes, I'll do it if it will save my sister's life.'During the transfusion,… 2. Setting Your Behavior for the Day PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required. Mail to: eagibbs@ureach.comAccording to Dr. Fredrick Koenig of Tulane University, 'The first hour of the day sets your behavior for the rest of the day.' Both he and Dr. Robert Calmes of the University of Arizona id… 3. Avoid a Life of Regrets With Your Yes List How many times have you told yourself 'yes!' today? Not enough I bet. Yes is the most powerful word in the English language. Unfortunately, too many times we say yes to others when we should say no. At the same time we continue to tell ourselves no when we need to say yes. You deserve to create the life of your dreams. Period. The first step on that road is to learn to tell yourself yes before you say yes to others. One big reason so many people don't like their lives is because they accidentall… 4. No Place Like H.O.M.E. A few years ago I was having dinner at a Hollywood restaurant with several of my husband's childhood friends-- one of whom was a movie producer who owned the restaurant, and another was some big deal in the music industry. I gave meaning and importance to their glamorous titles. I decided that they were better than me because they had money and celebrity. In that rarefied air I felt oversized, underdressed, and at the same time puny and invisible.I can still feel the outrage of my self-generated… |