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Natural or hero, Derek caused me and others a lot of pain. His skills and our hero worship caused us to begin the ‘beating yourself up’ process. You know the; ‘I’m not good enough’. ‘If only I could do that’.’ I couldn’t possibly do that’. The self defeating traits of inadequacy, insecurity and worthlessness and constant comparison with others all started here. With Derek, we started the comparison programme. Comparison is just another name for subservience. When you compare yourself to someone you are really accepting that you are impressed by them, you want them to influence your life and are willingly bowing down to their perceived skills and abilities. The problem with subservience is that you can never be free. It takes away all your happiness and power. You end up confused and wilting like a flower. The fact is comparing yourself with others not only stops you from being successful, it’s destructive. As, Elizabeth Fisher an American author, stated; ‘comparison is a death knell to sibling harmony’. Suggesting that the minute you compare yourself with anybody the relationship is always going to be powerless. Because you are now in a subservient relationship. The truth is that only prices, products and stores can be compared. Not people. You can compare key data any product, price or service. So when you compare yourself with others are you a product, price or service? Remember those essays from school and university where you were always asked to compare and contrast something with the aim of showing the similarities and differences of an argument etc. But how do you do this with people? What is being compared or contrasted? How are people similar? Height, weight, age, the clothes they wear, walk, where they live, the cars they drive, their salary, their achievements, their views ? Do you compare yourself with others? Who do you compare yourself with? What are the attributes you compare? Are you comparing like with like? You can compare males and females and they way they perform tasks, parents against children, different age groups. You can compare how your opinions are similar or different. But the best you can get is that you are mostly similar or mostly different. What about jealousy? How do you measure that? You can compare products with different versions. But people? How do you compare yourself with your parents or grandparents? You could be like Shakespeare and compare yourself against nature i.e. beauty with day and night. But not compare one person against another. Comparing yourself with others is like putting yourself in a prison. A prison which can only bring pain. A prison that stops you from experiencing your true talents. No one puts you in this prison, you do it all by yourself. You simply learn, as I did, not to accept yourself and reject who you really are in favour for what you perceive another person has. In other words you give yourself a hard time and delay your own growth because you thought the other person was better than you. Trust yourself, you have all the skills you need to succeed. All you need is a change of process. Stop judging yourself. Instead of comparing yourself with others, subverting your own power and constantly under performing; focus on your potential. What you want to be. Meditate on where you want to be. Imagine yourself achieving your potential. What does it look like, what does it feel like. Surround yourself with images and artefacts depicting the future you and gradually, you will become what you always wanted to be. The more you believe in your capabilities the more your behaviour will change. Access the hidden skills you have. Trust in yourself. You have far more skills and abilities than you are using at present. If you have heroes then beware you could be taking away your skills, your individualism and making yourself subservient for the rest of your life. In which case who needs heroes? Graham and Julie www.desktop-meditation.com.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. Step On To A Larger Stage Shakespeare wrote,“All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players…”The world as stage is a useful metaphor because the world offers many stages, just as actors can perform in a local amateur production or on Broadway or in a blockbuster movie.We perform on a stage of the appropriate size and character.The stage upon which we feel at home represents a kind of uppermost limit to our achievements.Call this one’s comfort zone or level of incompetence, the stage sets our scope and … 2. It Takes A Lot Of A Little To See The Good Times Roll Have you ever wondered why some people are just naturally successful? Why success just seems to fall on them with everything they do? You know.. The guy with the green thumb! And, everything he touches turns to gold.Picture Perfect Luck!Well, there's no such thing. Luck or if you prefer 'happenstance', does have a way of falling on us from time to time. But, I don't think anyone is trying to live a life of daily luck. If they are, they have some tall explaining to do. Cause, it ain't working!You… 3. True Love - Part 1 True Love! We all dream of being in love with that significant other, at some point in our lives. Is it better to have loved once than not to have loved at all? If this is really the case, then how do we actually find true love? How can a man or a woman really get to the core of the whole relationship game? What are the rules of such a game?More often than not, it is not uncommon to find that either one partner feels really strongly about the other, whilst the other just bides time because he or… 4. How To Take The Personal Out of the Workplace Article Title: How To Take the Personal Outof the Workplace:Author Name: Joanne VictoriaContact E-mail Address: mailto:joanne@joannevictoria.comWord Count: 606, including signature boxCategory: Leadership/CommunicationCopyright Date: 2004~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Publishing Guidelines: Thank you for publishing this article in its entirety, including the resource box. When possible, please notify me of publication bysending either a website link or a copy of your ezineupon publicatio… |